Understanding
by Kitkatta
Summary: Masamune didn't understand why Ritsu left so suddenly that day in his room- but this time, he doesn't have to wait 10 years. If Ritsu hadn't left Japan.
1. I Don't Understand

Sighing, the teen raked a hand through his dark hair, thumb pressing against the place where he'd been kicked. Though it physically healed, an ache throbbed softly at the very thought of who delivered the blow.

Ritsu…

Still, he waited.

Library windows showed him the sunny skies, the hot orb beginning to dip downwards and turn the blue orange. As bright as it all was, everything seemed cloudy and grey, monotonous and sad the past two weeks.

Not _once_ had Ritsu shown his face since that day in his room. Remembering the soft look on his always blushing face and averted gaze, how the sun made him glow, Saga couldn't help that small smile growing on his face, how his heart kept beating for that boy.

So just…

 _Why?_

Why did Ritsu suddenly flip- why did he just- something good finally happened in Masamune's life and it's _gone_ like it never existed to begin with. No trace of him anywhere- had there really been a kohai in love with him? Or had it all been a cruel trick of his mind?

Was it karma- had Ritsu wanted revenge since the day Saga yelled at him and called him gross? Did he know that at first the older boy only held ill will? Perhaps the boy wasn't so naïve, and he knew. Perhaps this is what Masamune really deserved in life?

 _Nothing_ made him happier than Ritsu's smile, or blushing face, or being pressed up against his smaller body as they read together or kissed.

Another sigh.

He closed the book in front of him, those black words meaning nothing. His eyes simply couldn't relay the message they were saying to his brain- perhaps they held the answer to his dilemma, but now he was blind to it.

After a few more minutes of sitting alone and just hoping that _maybe Ritsu will come through that door_ , Saga stood with a groan, cracking his back as he walked. Disappearing from the library assistant's sight, he delved into the maze of bookshelves, getting lost in his feelings and thoughts once more.

Finding himself in the same spot where that flustered underclassman had confessed, Masamune could only scowl.

Just where the hell had he gone wrong?!

Contemplating his next action, the boy was tugged out of his thoughts by the sound of the door opening- but he refused to get his hopes up…

He took a page out of his little stalker's book and discreetly peered over at the desk where two teens- both younger than he- stood.

"Onodera-san!" The monitor chided, bumping the other's shoulder before quickly grimacing and handing him a tissue. "Hey, are you okay? Why haven't you been in class the last few weeks?"

Him.

Ritsu.

Pale body and slouched stance, Saga couldn't get a lot out of his back alone but dammit that was _him_. The senior's heart clenched painfully as he heard the little voice, meek and… miserable? Why was _he_ miserable?

"A-Ah… I was just… n-not feeling too well…" The brunette mumbled, looking downward to hide his red rimmed eyes and dark bags. "B-But I needed to return these books, and g-get the work I missed."

"Always the scholar." The other tsked, eyeing him carefully. "You look like you're gonna fall over, Onodera-san. I think we should have someone take you home."

Without putting much thought into it, Masamune took a deep breath. This was his chance. Keeping a cool posture and steady voice, he spoke above the well expected reassurements from Od-Onodera?- Onodera; "I can walk him home."

Granted he didn't know where he lived but…

The younger classman sputtered, looking confused ad hurt and scared and _why_? _What_ happened so suddenly to change those emerald eyes from being so adoring? Where was the overwhelming love?

Looking like he was going to protest, it was the monitor- Kitsumi- who ended the discussion. "Great, I've seen you two hang together before so this'll be fine. Onodera-san, go home or I'll tell An-chan- and then you can-"

"Okay! Ok-kay." The brunette conceded, looking down as they were pushed out by the girl.

So out they walked, Saga having grabbed Ritsu's hand- partly so he could be lead to the younger's house, and partly because he didn't want the brunette to run off on him.

"Onodera, huh?"

"W-What?" The green eyes widened considerably, but before they could make eye contact he was back to looking towards the asphalt.

"She called you 'Onodera', not 'Oda'. So, you lied to me about that?"

Ah- there was that flustered blush. "N-No! I mean, well, yes- but! I just… couldn't get it out of my head how creepy I was being..."

"Yes well, seeing 'Oda' after my name on all the books I've read isn't any less creepy- how was using a fake name any better?" It was meant in jest but suddenly Ritsu wrenched- or tried- his hand away.

"I don't know! What's it even matter? Why do _you_ care?!" He cried, pitifully attempting to rip away their physical contact and keep his tears in check. Saga furrowed his brows, not understanding anything at all. Neither said anymore, and it was then that he realized Ritsu's near panting for air- more as if he was exhausted than anything, but still.

"We should get you home."

"I… I can get home myself-"

"Ritsu."

Green eyes widened as the smaller boy felt the other's lips on his, just a soft pressing.

"I don't care if you can get home yourself. I love you; I want to walk you home."

Eyes widening, Ritsu stared up at his senpai, some of that adoration and love flooding back into the emerald orbs before he began to blush furiously. Realizing that he was staring, he hastily stared back at the ground, biting his lower lip in confusion.

What did his heart want him to do?

They began walking, a cloud of emotions embracing them. No longer did Ritsu feel tense, his hand relaxing in Masamune's.

How nice.

* * *

" _This_ is where you live?"

Fifteen minutes later found the two boys standing outside a gated mansion- no- _castle_.

'Fuck I was right.' Saga thought with dry humor, a string of guilt running through him as he remembered his wrongfully placed judgement on his love.

Softly, he squeezed his hand.

His heart hammered in his heart as he felt a softer squeeze in return, just barely felt but more than enough.

Glancing over, he saw that face Ritsu made when he wanted to ask something but at the same time didn't know if he'd be able to muster the courage. Instead of pushing or asking his own question of _can I come in?_ Sage waited.

"Do… Do you want to stay over..?" The brunette asked oh-so shyly, face red with… whatever it was that kept his face at that constant hue.

A rush of excitement not felt since being a child filled Masamune's chest. He'd get to be in Ritsu's house- his _room_. He was beginning to understand how the other felt when he first came over. Millions of questions already launched themselves in his head, bouncing off of walls-

"Yes." He answered after a moment, realizing they had been standing there in silence. A sense of relief visibly entered Ritsu as his shoulders dropped from their tense state, the boy letting out a soft sigh.

"Well, come on then."

Walking in, Saga actually felt a little odd. Ritsu didn't announce they he was home, nor did they take off their shoes. Instead, they went for a stair case that looked more impressive than Masamune's entire house.

"Ritsu!"

The two boys stopped midway, the older catching the soft groan before they both turned their attention to a woman at the center of the room, looking up at them with sharp eyes. Green eyes and soft looking brown hair, this woman was obviously his mother.

"Ritsu, who might this be?" She lost all bit that existed in her previous bark, regarding the senior with a curious look.

"A-Ah, my friend, Saga-senpai. I told you about him?" He did? "He's… going to be staying over."

Saga wondered for a moment if he was going to be kicked out, but both boys relaxed as she smiled. "Alright, your father and I have to go out for a dinner meeting so Soma will bring you dinner. Have a nice night you two- just don't be too rowdy." She was already walking away with a purposeful stride.

"Alright, you too, Mom. Goodnight, love you."

It seemed all was done, the two boys continuing their climb- and as soon as he was _sure_ they were out of earshot, Masamune released a tense sigh.

"Are you okay?" Go figure his kohai noticed his discomfort.

"Just your mother… she seems nice though." He struggled for his next words. "It's kind of weird not to say 'I'm home', though." Upon the look of reasonable confusion, he expanded. "When I was younger it was still relevant for me to do that because someone _would_ be home. It became a habit I just never broke, even once things got a little more… empty. Sometimes someone's there." He shrugged. "Plus, now I've got the cat so…"

"Oh… I'm sorry, Saga-senpai!" Ritsu bowed, but before Masamune could reprimand him for needlessly apologizing, he already began his own nervous explanation as he fiddled at the door handle- when did they stop?

"I always thought that would be nice, though. But our house is so big and father is usually in his study and Mom is… I don't normally know, so saying it was kind of useless." He sounded sad.

Opening the door, a warm glow fell over both the boys and Saga had to keep from gawking.

The large room was simple in design, squared with two giant windows that faced the open sky. There was a large bed- king, maybe?- pressed against one window, with a desk littered with papers and pens right next to it. Not surprising was the amount of shelves in the room, too many books to be contained. Some books were stacked neatly in little towers on the floor, some on the desk and dresser, there was even a few on the bed. Though, Saga figured he was actually reading those ones.

"Sorry it's cluttered." Ritsu mumbled, awkwardly trying to decide if he should stand there or move before leading the other to his bed.

"…It's fine." Masamune replied, eyes drawn to the many books- some he recognized, some he didn't- some were even in English. "You have a lot of books, do you have them because of your dad and the publishing company?" To keep his hands busy he picked a book up, pretending to study it as he actually waited for the nervous reply.

"Uh- yeah… They kind of want me to take part in the business so I've been reading as long as I've been able to… Mom's even been having me learn English. Hence the…" He lamely gestured with his hand at the books, as if that pointed out anything.

Saga hummed, eyes studying the room once more before landing on Ritsu and his nervous fidgets. Sucking his breath in, he gathered up the nerve and approached the flustered boy in a few long strides.

"Why did you run away?" His was quiet, his hand gingerly touching the place where he had been kicked, silently asking about that, too.

Greens eyes widened before lowering, Ritsu biting his lower lip in contemplating. Feeling an anxious impatience in his stomach, Masamune cupped the soft face, eyes searching those.

"Please, Ritsu, I need to know what I did wrong."

A shaky sigh left the younger boy's lips, before he moved over so that Saga could sit next to him on the mattress.

Voice wavering, he explained; "I… I asked you if we were dating… and… and you laughed… I thought you…" A quiet yet sharp intake of breath.

"You thought I was… mocking you?"

A tiny hiccup. "I thought… Saga-senpai was just… using me…"

Neither of them really expected it when Masamune reached over and pulled- nearly crushed- Ritsu against him. The brunette lacked any strength to protest- not that he even really wanted to- so just let out his stressed and relieved cries against the other boy's chest.

Saga had a feeling these weren't the first tears to be spilt on the matter, but he hoped they'd be the last.

"You're an idiot." Masamune muttered, allowing his few tears to fall. He didn't want to think about how _close_ he had been to losing the one good thing in is life. Losing that shy smile and those determined eyes. Instead of voicing the fears he held within him that weighed him down, he merely held Ritsu closer.

Though the boy was crying and sobbing, a dirty shirt was more than worth it.

How would his life had turned out with this miraculous light? How would he had faced the troubles that no doubt lie in front of him?

"I love you, Ritsu." Masamune hoped- dear _lord_ did he hope- that sniffling boy that he loved so much could feel those emotions. Feel that he loved him so much- much more than anyone, anything else.

"I… I love you too, Senpai." A few more sniffles followed by a couple coughs had Saga pulling back.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes, yes… just from all the crying. I'm just a little tired, is all." Ritsu tried his best to sound reassuring, though Masamune wasn't exactly sold. "If I don't eat dinner though, Soma will tell mom, and mom will get pretty upset."

"Well, how much longer until then?"

"Soma usually just brings it to my room- I'm guessing another hour?"

A small smile once again found its way on Masamune's face, causing his love to blush.

"What's your favorite English book?"

That smile was worth it when all the excited rambles were thrown his way.

* * *

They lied next to each other, both having landed with exhausted thuds onto the bed but neither closing their eyes for sleep as they studied one another in silence.

"This is going to be hard, isn't it, Saga-senpai?" Ritsu yawned, maneuvering a little closer.

"Yeah…" Masamune nodded, wrapping his arms around him. "By the way… you don't have to keep calling me 'Saga-senpai'. You… are my boyfriend."

Even when tired, Ritsu managed to blush furiously. "O-Okay… M-Masamune…" Then suddenly, barely missing Saga's chin, those green eyes were looking his. "It's okay, right?"

"Hm?"

"It's okay that it's going to be hard?" Ritsu repeated sleepily. "I… I won't leave you… and… I hope… I mean…"

"I won't leave you either, Ritsu." Masamune smiled, pulling the other into his chest. "I love you."

He couldn't avoid the situation with his parents forever, and soon enough he'd be in college. He still didn't know a lot about Ritsu, including his own family life and what troubles he had- but judging by his town when speaking about the family business, he had big obstacles.

They had a lot of things in front of them- a lot of things they didn't know that were going to pop up randomly and test their wills.

But.

They did know that they had each other.

"I love you, too."

So that was okay.

Everything would be okay.

* * *

I haven't gotten any sleep but.

Forget that!

I've always wondered what would have happened if Ritsu had stayed and how that would have turned out. Since I've actually had this written forever and I needed something to pass the time because I'm starving, this baby was born.

Woo.

I don't think I'll do anything more with this but, I did say the same for the potato fic so who knows. Probably not so don't get your hopes too high up there.


	2. We Need to Talk

" _We need to talk."_

Now that was never something that someone really wanted to hear, but nonetheless, Saga had to accept it. His boyfriend had been nervous for the past few days- maybe this would help?

" _Ok tomorrow after school?"_

" _ok senpai goodnight i love you :)"_

Even with the cloud now hanging over the teen, Saga couldn't help the warmth that spread through him, or the smile that worked its way onto his face.

" _I love you too. Goodnight."_

Tossing his phone aside, the teen allowed for the warm feeling to settle inside of him, a sigh filling the otherwise quiet room.

It had been a month since that in time Ritsu's room, and thank goodness that event had taken place. Having the boy in his life again, and at such a closer intimacy, filled him with a happiness he hadn't felt since he was a naïve child, ignorant of the problems in the world. It helped that Saga learned where the flaw had been in their relationship- improper communication between the two.

No matter what, Masamune would listen to Ritsu's problem- any problem- and take it seriously. It was clear they both had their different troubles, and with that, Masamune would do whatever he could to support his love.

The teen was brought out of his thoughts as the voices of his parents boomed. Somehow, Masamune felt as things between them got worse, even if that hardly seemed possible to begin with.

A sick feeling of anxiety coiled within his guy, feeling as though something… big and bad was waiting just around the corner to take everything away.

Was he prepared for the worst? It felt like it was more than prepared for him.

Perhaps Sorata sensed his distress, licking his hand before curling up beside him, emitting a low purr.

Eventually, he fell asleep, though it was far from peaceful.

Hopefully, tomorrow would provide him with relief.

* * *

"I… have a fiancé."

Like an anchor, his stomach just dropped as his eyes widened. The words were just caught in his throat as he stared at his boyfriend who was fidgeting and probably having an internal meltdown. When he didn't say anything- _How could he?_ \- Ritsu began to wring his hands together furiously, looking away.

"I- I've already said "no"… this actually came up a while ago… but I already told mother no… She…" A frustrated sigh and his brows furrowed. "Mother won't let it go, and I tell An-chan that I only see her as a friend and she says she gets that but- she won't just _say no_. Mother won't accept it from just me and father doesn't say anything- I don't even _know_ what he wants." A shaky, breath escaped his lips as he furiously scrubbed his eyes.

Masamune's eyes finally refocused on the boy before him, shaking, hands in a constant state of motion. Blinking away tears that kept threatening to spill, just looking miserable and frustrated overall. As much as the older wanted to comfort Ritsu he just… couldn't. The words were missing, a lump in his throat.

 _A fiancé? An arranged marriage, to his childhood friend?_

 _How…_

 _Was he supposed to compete with that?_

"You're not."

Oh- had he actually said that out loud?

Masamune couldn't dwell on it, not for long. Those nervous hands, getting clammy with sweat, reached for his own, emerald eyes pulling him into the endless warmth that was his love.

"M-Masamune." That voice still wavered, especially when saying his name, but those hands only tightened as if proving his determination and love. " _You_ are the one I love. Not An-chan. No matter how hard anyone, my mother included, pushes, I won't stop loving you. I won't leave you for her." Those eyes became big and earnest, pools of everlasting love. "I won't leave _you_."

It was those statements that came out of Ritsu's mouth that always put a lump in Masamune's throat- how could he respond to those things? What on earth did he do to deserve this person in his life? If he couldn't answer in words, then who could blame him for pulling the shorter male into his arms and kissing him without restraint. "Don't leave me." He whispered between kisses. "I won't let you go."

Breath hitching- partly out of surprise at that and partly because it made him feel loved- Ritsu could only nod and return the physical affections.

For the first time ever, Masamune had something in his life that was good- great, even. He didn't know what on earth he did to deserve it, but now that he had Onodera Ritsu, he certainly wasn't going to let him go.

Said boy melted into his tight embrace, eyes soft, sad, and hopeful.

"…I guess telling your parents the truth it out of the question?" Saga sighed quietly. His own parents- who cared? They'd be out of his life in less than a year anyways. Ritsu's?

"I have no idea… they've never brought up their own views on the matter but…" If possible, he pushed himself even further into his boyfriend. "But- if they _don't_ accept it…"

"Things could get bad, really quickly." Again sighing, Masamune finally pulled away, pressing their foreheads together, their eyes locked. He didn't want to risk it, not until he could take care of Ritsu himself if worse came to and he was disowned. He saw the guilt in those emerald eyes and kissed Ritsu's forehead lightly- he didn't blame him for wanting to keep his homosexual relationship a secret. He would be worried too if it actually mattered with his parents.

At the same time, however, he didn't want to sit back in the shadows and watch as Ritsu was handed off to anyone else- especially not a childhood friend-

…

"Could you tell her- your fiancé?

"An-chan?!" Ritsu seemed shocked- now he knew her more- _childhood friends-_ but Saga pressed on, urging the matter.

"If you told her, would she understand? Would she be helpful in the matter?"

Biting his lower lip, Ritsu turned his head in thought. If he just jumped right in and told her, she'd probably feel hurt. She _did_ confess to loving him, after all. What if she ended up ratting him out to his parents, just so she could win him?

No! Ritsu shook his head quickly. An-chan was _not_ like that in the slightest! He had more faith in her than that.

Yes.

He had faith in her as his friend.

"We… we should tell her."

It would help both of them to have someone else in their corner, and neither of them had a lot of people to go to… plus, well, maybe this would make things less awkward between them and they could go back to being friends?

He didn't like this awkward silence or forced conversation between them.

Ritsu was brought out of his thoughts by the reassuring and soft smile sent to him by Masamune.

"I love you, Ritsu. Thank you." For considering it, for doing it, even though we both know you're terrified.

Blushing like mad, the green eyed boy stumbled and stuttered, looking for the words but never finding them as he instead was kissed, silenced.

Pulling back, he offered a hesitant and shy glare, causing Masamune's heart to flutter. The more he was offered these sides of his boyfriend, the more he knew that the other was growing comfortable with him and trusting him.

"I… I love you too, Masamune."

"You know what? We can worry about everything else tomorrow, I'm tired of it for today." Masamune hummed, smiling and pressing kisses on the other. "Right now, it's just us."

"Mm… y-yeah." Ritsu mumbled quietly, looking down, as if thinking. Hesitantly, he wrapped his arms around Masamune's shoulders and leaned in for a kiss, pressing their lips together.

"Hm- taking the initiative are we?" His words were quiet, teasing, said around their kiss.

Again, Ritsu blushed a furious red, as though a secret plan had been realize. With that, he attempted, quite horribly, to come up with some extremely unnecessary explanation- so Masamune did the only reasonable thing one could do in that situation.

He kissed him, deeply and passionately.

Hm.

If only these simple times together would last forever.

* * *

Be glad. I originally wasn't going to add anymore to this.

BUt I'm tired and it's 11pm on a school night and since after this year I probably won't have time for writing and stuff- well, might as well get it done while I can still enjoy it, right?

Sorry for any mistakes, but I can't wait to have this conversation with An. :')


End file.
